Now this is a theory I just don’t get.
Lesbian Bed Death is a term created by sex researcher, Pepper Schwartz. It’s a term that describes, what she calls, the inevitable diminishment of sexual passion in a long-term lesbian relationship. Schwartz study indicated that over time, lesbians have less sex than all other couples, no matter the sexual orientation. Most noted was the fact that there was a steep decline in sexual activity among lesbians after the first year!
WHAT?
I’m sorry, but I do not agree with that. I mean, I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m having sex til I’m old and grey! And even if there is some truth to this study, why does it affect lesbians more? I know PLENTY of straight couples that have been married for years and don’t have sex anymore. I hear my male friends talk about it all the time. Even if their not married.
So, the fact that Schwartz is saying it happens more in lesbians is bizarre to me. I might also add that her theory states that women lose their sexual urges when they feel they are in a secure relationship. Maybe there is some truth to that…but I have to think that if you continue to have sex with your partner, doesn’t that ensure the security of the relationship? Not that you should make sure to have sex with your partner everyday for the rest of your life. I’m aware that there are stresses that take you “out of the mood” and you can be so busy you might not feel like it all the time. But to lessen the amount of sex you have only after a year? To me, that would be cause for concern.
So, in my opinion….KEEP HAVING SEX! It’s a beautiful, fun and thrilling experience when you are with someone you love and want to be with for the rest of your life. And if you’re not having sex anymore, only after a year, maybe you need to find whats keeping you and work on it. If it doesn’t improve, then maybe that person isn’t right for you sexually. It could be a lot of circumstances that tie into it.
Maybe I’m a little bias…I want to have sex with my girlfriend all the time!
Juliet
August 14th, 2008 - 11:37 am
I want to have sex with my girlfriend all the time too! The lesbian bed death thing definitely doesn’t apply to me since well…I want it all the time lol. But my girlfriend just doesn’t and it’s extremely frustrating. She tells me I have ‘a problem’ because I want to have sex so frequently. Anyway, I hate the term frankly. I was once with a girl for 3 years and we had sex all the time up until the end. Not all of us have dried up shriveled vaginas from lack of use.
August 14th, 2008 - 12:36 pm
I think this is an outrage. This sounds like a guy just pissed off probably because his wife left him for a lesbian or something. LOL no seriously.. Men think that lesbians were created for there pleasure. I think they are saying this because they think lesbians actually need men. They think we get bored sexually and need well…penis. This totally pissed me off! He is not studying this to find out who having sex etc… this has to do with sexual orientation. I know I will never stop having sex until I am old gray and cripple. I am not afraid to admit I love sex. Even I was in a long term relationship I still had sex several times a day. So I agree with this very strongly!!!
Rachelle
www.myspace.com/2cute2bestr8
August 15th, 2008 - 8:56 am
Thanks for the hilarious comments Emily and Rachelle!
Emily, Sounds to me like maybe you should try spicing it up a bit maybe? Try something romantic like a picnic of fruit and wine on your bedroom floor with candles and rose petals…or maybe try talking to her about it and asking what SHE wants and make sure she knows you’re listening.
Rachelle, dear Rachelle, so glad to hear from you! I love your thinking about this, but here’s the thing. Dr. Pepper Schwartz is a woman. A straight woman, but a woman nonetheless. She has quite the credentials…should have mentioned that in the blog, but you can go to http://faculty.washington.edu/couples to see what she’s all about.
I’m so glad everyone is going to have lots of sex like me! That’s great!
Juliet
August 15th, 2008 - 10:12 am
Maybe its just me but I think this is the case for most relationships. They are fun and exciting for the first year…you are having sex three times a day and then bang! life hits you and you’re too tired or busy to take the time out. You still have sex but it is only a few times a week instead of a few times a day and quite frankly you’re ok with that because you just don’t have the energy. I guess I’ve seen this so many times because I’m like a cereal-long-term relationship haver (you like that! lol). Juliet…call me in a year and we’ll see if you’re still having sex with your girlfriend everytime you see her!
Juliette
August 15th, 2008 - 12:02 pm
Would love to strangle that Schwartz twat. I’ve been with my gf for over three years and can’t get enough of her but every time I’ve had a tough day at work and don’t want to “get bizzy” my gf refers to lesbian bed death- regardless of how many times we’ll have done it in the past week. Death to Schwartz!